Secrets

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:21:32 GMT

Has anyone has their colon cleasned?
And does anyone know of a place in windsor that does it?
Thanks!

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 21:11:02 GMT

Dora is my best friend. She's always here. She always wants to hang out, she doesn't care what we do, as long as shes with me she's happy. She is always happy and full of energy. We are two peas in a pod. She is my favourite everything.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 16:11:04 GMT

Hey everyone, room for rent.

We have a duplex a couple blocks from the U and steps from the river. It's a really great spot, 3 girls share the other half. Our block on Partington is a large tree lined street, we haven't had problems with noise. The room you would be staying is currently painted bubblegum pink, I love it, but the previous tenant offered to prime over it if it isn't your thing. IT has a good size closet, sort of like a walk in one.
I also have a dog, and not quite the kind you can easily ignore, she's a people lover, so a dog lover is a must.
We are both nice girls, students at the U. Rent is 710/3 not including utilities. So 236 + utilities. If this sounds like something you're interested in, let me know and we can have a chat! Cheers, Vanessa.
Oh! And we prefer females, I know, I know.
Message me for pics.

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 01:37:12 GMT

iTunes meme

How many songs in total?
-3252

Sort by Song Title; What are the first and last songs?
First: "Highway Blues" // Marc Seales, composer. New Stories. Ernie Watts, saxophone.
Last: Zombie // The Cranberries

Sort by Artist; what are the first and last artists?
First: [Grimskunk] // Shut the Fuck Up
Last: Tipsy(Dirty)

Sort by Time; what are the first and last songs?
Shortest: Funky See, Funky Do // Various Artists [0.04]
Longest: RealOne Broadcast // Telepopmusik [37.03]

Sort by Album; what are the first and last albums?
First: 'Evita' SoundTrack
Last: The Young and The Hopeless

Top 5 Played Songs:
1. Monster Hospital // Metric
2. How To Save A Life // The Fray
3. Hey There Delilah // Plain White T's
4. Miss Halfway // Anya Marina
5. I Me You // Jim Noir

Most Recent 5 of your Recently Added:
WHY DOESN'T MINE HAVE A RECENTLY ADDED! GRR THAT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE EASIER! SOMEONE HELP!

Find “sex” - how many songs show up?
27

Find “death” - how many songs show up?
45 dammit

Find “love” - how many songs show up?
142

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 00:52:03 GMT

What will it be?!

Gover the Gecko!

Sampson taking care of me.

My soon to be old room.
dam, I can't find a picture of the other half of my room, which is now packed. It was the nice side!

MY LOVE!

Some guy flying over my house. Very Random.

Baby Easter Bunny!

My fifty dollar plant that I will have to carry on the airplane.

The mountains/beach at the end of my block.

The mountains on a cloudy day.

Pink!

The beach at night.

Dora with her ears in the wind.

My eyes matched my shirt, I was stoked.

New hot pink silk sheets!

Me sexy.

The Kids.

Drinkin'

Drunk

What is he doing pervin on that little girl.

Mr. Blonde!

oo lala

ME!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:51:07 GMT

1) List ten things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.

Mine are hardly about anyone on livejournal, at least no one that reads. I found this very difficult. I never before realized how honest I am to people about how I feel. I think this is why I come of as a bitch a lot, but I don't mind.

If we weren't so alike, then maybe we would still be friends. I wish you would apologize, because I miss you.

I will never for the rest of my life feel comfortable around you, you will always be one of the Ashley's. This only came to mind because I dreamt about it.

I'm still waiting for you to mature, hopefully when I return I will witness a new you.

I'm worried about you, you are going down an unhealthy path and you don't have the brain to deal with the consequences.

I'm not sure if I would count you as a good friend anymore. Which is too bad, we use to be pretty close, but I'm now beginning to think it was all lies.

I love you! I am so happy for you! We will be friends forever, and even though we been through A LOT of shit, I'm so happy you are in my life. Take care girlfriend!

I'm sorry I haven't called as much as I should have this past year. You are my best friend and I know you will understand, but you don't deserve it. I can't wait to continue our relationship. You are my bosom buddy.

You are bad news. I know this. but that won't stop me. You live, you learn. Just be gentle.

You don't even deserve to be mentioned here.

I wish you had more self confidence. There is no reason you shouldn't. You are lovely and nice and interesting.

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 03:41:45 GMT

I need one of those thing that follows you around and holds you dog when you go inside shops, what are they called again?? ...oh yah, boyfriends!

I'm going on the pill for the first time. ladeda. I should go out and have a bunch of sex now. It's on my list of things to do.

Cole is for sure coming. Kind of scary, in a good way of course. Hopefully I will be all settled in my new place and it won't be a disaster. He wants a good time. I'll show him one.
I bought my plant I've been saving for. It's gorgeous and calming, and I have no clue how I'm going to get it back to windsor.
oh that's right, I've decided I am in fact moving to Windsor. Just yesterday I was still looking at places in Vic, but I found out that I won't have to take the biology's I've been failing if i get my degree at Windsor. I was sold.
I will post plant pictures.
I'm addicted to holy homous, and fruit ambrosia.
I possible met the guy of my life, right before I leave the province.
I found a rock with the ring from the ring on it. And naturally shit myself.
Everyone please be on the look out for possible roommates. I need one.
I keep getting reminded of how many people I can't stand in Windsor. I'm going to have to work on my social network.
Does anyone want a rock from the sea? Colour preference?
I will on the other hand be happy to be leaving some memories and people behind here. One in particular.

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 02:15:13 GMT

I'm an industrial fan, and someone just threw shit at me.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 15:54:44 GMT

GROW SOME BALLS MAN!

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 01:44:16 GMT

I'm happy, although I'm not sure why, but its been a long time coming.
Even if it's just for this moment, I'm grateful.

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 04:43:37 GMT

Renting porn from your local movie store is the worst idea EVER. And quite embarrassing.
I appear to be on the move again, in the wrong direction, backwards.
I'm not too happy about it, but I'm making do. When I finally made my decision (which in all honestly I haven't yet done), I felt a bit of relief, which has to be a good sign.
What can I say? I gave it a year. I've had to move twice due to Dora. Everything has been a struggle. I'm flunking out of school.
I need a break.
Life isn't always suppose to be a struggle.
It worries me that I am going back to windsor, obviously it is more comfortable. Comfort is dangerous, comfort keeps people doing the same thing in the same place for their entire lives.
Not that I can ever see me in that situation.
It comes down to Victoria, or Dora. Dora has been my life for the past year, and so she stays.
At least in Windsor my dad can take her for exams, and party weekends, giving me a little more freedom.
My mom has since left Windsor, so I no longer have a place of residence.
I'm looking for a place downtown with a fenced yard. I will have to have a roommate to cover the bills, so if anyone's interested, let me know! We can have theme nights, and dinner parties!

EDIT: What is my extreme obsession with letting people down?

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 01:16:17 GMT

Wow, I totally had more faith in the human kind.

I just had the most inconsiderate house guest. I almost think I dreamt it.
You invite people into your home, rearrange your life to accommodate them. Show them a good time. Spend you entire time in Vancouver searching for pants to fit their lard ass.
And what do they do?
Completely destroy your room. Commit to do something embarrassing together and then completely ditch at the last minute, leaving you to go at it alone. Don't even apologize. Leave your house a complete mess without a word of notice or a well over due thank-you. And leave you wishing you never met them to begin with.

I suppose I got some free pot out of the deal.
She's still a fucking fat cunt though. No wonder she has no friends.

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 08:25:48 GMT

hi! I smell.
I had an amazing day of cleanliness. I washed windows, did laundry, changed bed sheets, swept, mopped, cleaned the bathroom, etc. Now all that is left to clean is me!

I was overcome just a moment ago on my walk with Dora. I took lead, showed her who was boss, emitted confidence, became dominant, and she fell in line behind me heeling the entire walk. I was completely flabbergasted. I even asked the couple on the corner smoking pot if I was seeing it correctly. It felt really good.

I could have had sex this weekend.

OH MY GOD THAT REMINDS ME!
Cole, Australian Cole (pictured in previous posts), has re-entered my life. He's going through a lot of shit at home and wants to escape. So he's coming to visit. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I haven't mentioned it to Rob and don't think I need to at this point, it's not until summer. Stay tuned...

Accidentally I assure you I came across the ending to Super Mario 64 on utube, THANKS ALLY. I never actually beat the game despite hours upon hours of play. But I envisioned this elaborate ending where the princess comes down and there are fireworks, and a feast, and all his friends come and the bad guys turn good, etc, etc.
Wellll....was I surprised.

She bakes him a cake.
I thought about this, and realized how close in fact to reality this is. Preparing children at a young age for disappointment. You expect fireworks, but you get cake. Cake is good and everything, some kinds better than others, it also serves a physiological need, but it's definitely no fireworks.

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 02:12:42 GMT

If people treat me any less than I deserve then to hell with them.

So the cunt from upstairs, after her knocks were OBVIOUSLY being ignored, JUST WALKS IN! I couldn't believe it, how more intrusive can you be. Normally when people come over we send the dogs to their beds or there is utter chaos and people would never return for a visit.
So of course I let them at her. And she's just standing there waiting for me to do something with this horrified look on her face. And I'm looking right back at her with my best "what the fuck do you want?" face.
I enjoyed it to say the least.
I was going to smoke a fat doob tonight and watch ice age 2 (a recommended activity from James), but I might just skip the doob. I should only tap into that shit when I need it. And I'm pretty relaxed right now.

ATTENTION TO THIS PART:
I'm going to get another tattoo, of an inspiring quote on my ...well I can't remember whats its called. I have a couple in mind, but am taking all the suggestions one can give.

Has anyone else ever taken the Myers Briggs test? (I'm in psychology I should be able to spell that for heavens sakes)
I'm an ENFP

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 04:20:29 GMT

I did a good deed today and it made me feel really happy. Maybe I should look into careers where I am helping people.
Some little girl in a playground said she loved my high heels (they were boots), but that also made me smile.
For the first time in along time I was proud to be Dora's mother. She had her first visit to the city and she behaved better than I could have asked her. Surely that isn't the result of my training? I gave myself a pat on the back anyways.
I hope that in the same way my housemates negative moods effect me, my positive mood effects them.
I left my wallet at home and went all day with no food. By last class I was seriously considering frying up a uvic bunny.
I asked James to write me a journal and this is what he said.
Dear Journal,
Today I went to school. It was an ok day. I got a test back and did some other shit in my classes. I can't wait till this shit is done and over with. I hate 2 of my courses im taking right now and there is too many damn forein people in the classes

I sort of freaked out the last two night, it wasn't a good scene. I think I might talk to a counselor for some advice on how to control my anger and not get so worked up. I told my mom I was going to start smoking weed. She was helping me think of people I could ask who might have it. It was the comic relief that I needed.

Is anyone else getting myspace friend requests from weird unknown people?

I should call my dad.
I still sleep too much.
Frozen blueberries are my favourite healthy snack.
I take too many things for granted.

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 12:59:19 GMT

cause I'm like ..hot chick and I'm ready to Uff

I have no patience with masturbating. Like orgasm, done. is all i need. Why can't it be that simple?

I WANT MY ORGASM!

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:33:30 GMT

As much as I hate guns, and they kill babies, and all that jazz.
At times, I just really wish I had one.

Ever think about how many germs are on public computer mouses and keyboards? yeesh.
When was the last time YOU washed your hands.

Things are snazz.
Busy times ahead. Lots of visitors!
I'm really excited, I could use some social interactions.
It's been awhile.

I've been attending this career exploration group, it's actually quite interesting. I'm learning a lot about myself. We spend the hour taking tests and figuring out our values.
Apparently I really value family, which is a puzzle to me as I have little to no relations with my family.
I guess that's what is missing from my life, and what I need to be happy.
Tying for first place with family was adventure. The blurbs about the two basically said they don't go hand in hand and I will have to make some decisions.
Great, making decision has never been one of my strengths.
I have a hard enough time deciding whether to take a shower or a bath.

I love my new place.
I also love the party mix Paula got me for christmas. I dance home from the bus to it.

School is going well, aside from biology, which I just can't seem to grasp.
I've been thinking a lot about the future and what I want, and I keep coming to the same conclusion. That I don't have a clue.
I don't care if that's normal. I want to know. I am a planner. I want to plan and make goals and take action. I hate passively waiting for my future to play itself out.

I've realized a lot of skills I had in my younger days, I no longer have.
The person I thought I was, I don't think I am anymore.

It's hard to analysis and evaluate who you are and what you want when you are not yourself.
Or are you?
I'm starting to think being unhappy is the human condition, and the varying degrees of happiness, are just how well people cope with the unhappiness.
Maybe depression isn't just this thing that you have, maybe it's who you are.
I keep waiting for the old me to return, but I don't think she exists anymore. She left me with next to nothing to work with. That bitch.

Rob is sweet. All he wants is to see me, but I have all these hangups. I want to be perfect for him. I wish I could just be happy with myself, then maybe someone else could be happy with me too.

I think about sex a lot, and want it, and fantasize about it, all without having it of course. I always think about grabbing some big fat pimply guy and fucking him in the bathroom, that way I don't care what I look like or what he thinks, and I get what I want.
The next weekend Rob comes over, I will fuck him. Wow, it's scary just thinking about it.
I hope I'm doing it for the right reasons, I hope I really do just want sex and I'm not lying to myself, as I tend to.
Rob does not like that idea. I have to pretend that he's special to me. It's like we've switched the regular male/female roles.
I always to seem to do things backwards.
In reality?
It could be anyone.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 03:10:28 GMT

hey
I'm looking for people to move to or visit Victoria.
Say you'll be there.

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:58:02 GMT

why not eh?
I never realized before how sappy Christmas music is. It's all about love! How USELESS!
......why can't I stop listening?

I've been living in Victoria for an entire semester of school. Quite uneventful. Rather depressing. Ran into some minor boy troubles when I arrived, took a lot out of me. Was just beginning to recover, until the recent boy tried to kill himself. Head trip.
Dora is fine, she's doesn't have it too great either. We're moving to a more suitable situation. Hopefully things will improve. I love her. That little monkey butt.
I sort of fucked myself over with school. As per usual. My grades are fine, but I took a self teach math course at the college, and well ....didn't do much self teaching. The one class I needed for Nursing. Score one for the V-dawg.
Mother is coming to visit for the holidays, we're taking off to Tofino, etc. She has all these plans. Very sweet, but I don't have the highest energy levels lately. I hope it goes well.
I'm doing better than I let on I promise. I was off meds when I arrived but am now back on them and stabilizing, so things should improve. I've been going out with the roommates lately. It's been a blast. Fun is what I need.
I'm actually thinking of taking next semester off to work and party. And walk Dora of course. Now how to hide this from mother.
Traveling and moving does continue to remind me of one thing. I have great friends. And they will forever be missed. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. I am thankful.
I think I'm going to make my mom a Christmas card now.
oh right, you want pictures.

My Happy Birthday Message from my new roommates!

Initiation Day or whatever they call it, proud to go to Uvic!

The bunnies!! They are everywhere around campus. It's unreal

Me being artsy, with myself.

Dora being aDORAble on the beach near my house.

My soon to be old room.

Outside the Student Union Building, going to the Sub Party, where I danced with scary boys and my roommate puked on me, but we got a ride home in our very own school bus!

After one of our house parties, I woke up with this on my leg. Yes it was permanent.

The two to the left are my FAV roomies.

Halloween. I was Jem.

Dora was a Dinosaur.

We partied.

Some of my roomies, all but the left one.

Getting ready for a night on the piss. Sharing clothes. My favourite!

Dora and I.

Me being sexy.

Our Adult Party! So much fun.

All the roomies as Christina Agulara. sp? and the rotating penis

Dora on drugs.

Dora had to get stiches : (

V-dawg & V-love.

At the club club.

We were extra naughty and brought home a boy!

Cheers, Vanessa!

Me not on drugs.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 21:01:10 GMT

My Personality


Neuroticism	69
Extraversion	44
Openness To Experience	19
Agreeableness	36
Conscientiousness	23

Find your MySpace/Xanga/Hi5 soulmate / pysch twin
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Codes, MySpace Layouts and hi5 by Pulseware Survey Software

You are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. As a practical person you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. You have some concern with others' needs, and are generally pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Neuroticism explanation
Overall Score 69
Anxiety 56
Anger 40
Depression 74
Self-Consciousness 48
Immoderation 84
Vulnerability 76

You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. You are generally calm, although some situations can make you feel anxious or tense. You don't usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you. You tend to lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress.

Extraversion explanation
Overall Score 44
Friendliness 26
Gregariousness 73
Assertiveness 30
Activity Level 5
Excitement-Seeking 94
Cheerfulness 36

You are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You have a generally cheerful disposition.

Openness To Experience explanation
Overall Score 19
Imagination 17
Artistic Interests 50
Emotionality 73
Adventurousness 39
Intellect 20
Liberalism 0

As a practical person you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You are reasonably interested in the arts but are not totally absorbed by them. You have good access to and awareness of your own feelings. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. You regard intellectual exercises as a waste of your time. You prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition.

Agreeableness explanation
Overall Score 36
Trust 19
Morality 48
Altruism 67
Cooperation 83
Modesty 21
Sympathy 9

You have some concern with others' needs, and are generally pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You generally see others as selfish, devious, and sometimes potentially dangerous. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others. You feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy.

Conscientiousness explanation
Overall Score 23
Self-Efficacy 0
Orderliness 57
Dutifulness 78
Achievement-Striving 0
Self-Discipline 0
Cautiousness 84

You like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized. Often you do not feel effective, and may have a sense that you are not in control of your life. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. You find yourself procrastinating and show poor follow-through on tasks. Often you fail to complete tasks - even tasks that you want very much to complete. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:37:31 GMT

audio_comfort

9/11

where were you?

I was in Kennedy high school, science class.

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 15:39:13 GMT

ok can I get everyone to reply with a yes or a no? I'm having a dilemma. Be my teller.

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 18:39:19 GMT

I finally made it to the sat. reruns sale and I bought:
Memento
Lethal Weapon 4
Homeward Bound
28 Days
Wonder Boys
The Land Before Time IV
Little Black Book
and Almost Famous
I'm debating going back for more.
This has been an especially hard week with puppy, a faze I suppose, I'd been warned about. More hard time than enjoyable time. It will pass.
I work seven day, 8 hour+ weeks. It's m life, I get pissed on Fridays and Saturdays, puppy class on Sundays and repeat. Not much time for anything, not anything I need time for.
I always do this. When something big is coming up, I completely ignore it, instead building myself frantic inside until boom, d-day. It's coming. I should be preparing. I mean, this is no trip. This is moving a life. Honestly I don't know where to start.
I've completely alienated my mother, I haven't spoken to her since she left for NFL. We are not on good terms. If it wasn't for her contributing to my education she would be out of my life for good. How selfish is that, but it's the truth. The less I think about it, the more it's manageable.
I was thinking today how pathetic it is that I live two blocks away from my best friend and I see her once a month if I'm lucky. Fault of my own.

I'm going to watch a movie before buffet dinner at the casino. Stock pile tupperware.

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 17:19:24 GMT

Wow, it's been so long since I wrote a livejournal that I've forgotten how.
My thoughts are all choppy with no emotion. Take of it what you will.

I've recently been accepted to the university of victoria and have been busy looking for places to live. I don't like to get excited about things until they are happening, but I am happier than I let on.
My mother got the job in Newfoundland and will also be taking off. We'll be on opposite sides of the country, another dream come true.
The move to victoria is a little overwhelming as it will be for good. I will no longer have a home base in windsor what with my mom moving on as well.
It's time to start my own home and life. The fear in no way surpasses the excitement.

My dad has been being a mega jerk lately. I don't think he wants me to go. Again.
Apart from his recent behavior he's a good guy and I will miss him. It's likely I will hardly see him again.

Dora is traveling with me of course. She's a hassle to find an apartment with, but it will definitely be worth it.

I eat a lot of cheese and olives on crackers. I think this contributes to my love life.

I start work full time at the college beginning of July. Working with kids, my favourite pastime.

This is all. I suppose I could post some pictures of the past couple weeks?

No Pants Day!

Downtown

In the Safe at a bank, Poker night.

Day job, Demonstrating Vacuums

Australian Flag

Playing with the light

Mum and I on the Polar Express at Strawberry fest, not a good photo of her, much sexier in person

Me in a strawberry eating contest! Yip!

Dora Dog and I doing the Waltz

The Dip.

Out on the town.

Really drunk.

For the full effect.

Collection

Sun, 28 May 2006 03:30:46 GMT

My mother still feels no remorse for the things she's put me through. And for that I hate her.